My little boy said “I’m sorry for making you angry”
I gently explained to him that he can’t really make me angry; only my own thoughts make me feel angry.
It’s a tricky concept for adults to learn, because we are taught from such a young age that our behaviour makes other people feel happy, sad, angry, etc.
But if we learn that we are responsible for other people’s feelings, that means that other people are responsible for OUR feelings!
And that’s not right.
We are responsible for our own feelings. And our thoughts are what create our feelings. So sure, I had some thoughts about my child’s behaviour that made me cranky.
But we are also responsible for our own behaviour. So I need to help him unravel what he was feeling that caused him to behave that way. What thoughts was he having to create that feeling?
I wondered if these concepts and tools that I teach my clients were too complex for a 4-year-old.
But then I realised that if we all learned this when we were little, we would have so much more emotional stability and empowerment.
Plus, he’s very coachable and I have a good canine mediator for when things do get a bit heated.
If you want to take back the power of being in charge of your own feelings, your actions, and your results, let’s talk. Just because you learnt that other people can cause your feelings, doesn’t mean that you have to keep believing that. Book a free consult to talk about how this is showing up in your life, and how to change it for good.