Previously, when I’ve worked with people with disabilities, it was part of my job to help my clients define their goals and what it was going to take to get there. We’d look at things like what skills they already had, what skills they might need to learn, and we would break the goal down into achievable parts. And there was always one key question that was important to ask: Who is on your team?
It was such a natural question to ask someone with a disability. Who do you need to support you in this goal? What kind of supports do you need? We would look at what kind of support friends and family could give first. And then we would look at other supports in the community, such as groups, clubs, classes, etc. And finally we’d look at other ‘formal’ supports that people could pay for, such as support workers, therapists, etc.
I now work primarily with women who work in the disability sector. I ask them this same question: Who is on your team? Who do you need to support you in your goal? And 90% of the time, I get the same answer: “Oh, I just need to do this myself.”
But you are not alone.
You are allowed to ask for support in your goals. You need to ask for support in your goals. There are people in your life who want to see you succeed. There are people who want to help you. So let them.
Have a think about that big dream of yours. Who else would be happy to see you achieve that? What would achieving it mean for the people around you?
I want you to think about how they might be able to help you get there. It could be through holding you accountable, or giving you some encouragement when you need it. It might be something like watching your kids while you have an hour to yourself to work on it.
Now think about what other supports might be in the community for you. Are there groups or clubs of like-minded people that could help you get to where you want to be? Is there a class that would give you the skills and confidence you’re looking for?
And finally, consider any paid services that might help you achieve your goals. Maybe it’s outsourcing some responsibilities every now and then to free up some time. Or maybe it’s more directly related to your goal, such as a coach or dietician.
You can continue to tell yourself that you just need to do this on your own. But if so, I want you to ask yourself how that’s going for you so far, and be honest with the answer.
We all need a little help sometimes. We are so used to providing the support for other people, that we forget it’s okay to ask for some support ourselves.
I encourage you to just try thinking about what supports could help you get to where you want to be. Even this alone can be challenging, so if you’d like to talk it through, jump on a free call with me and I’ll help you map it out.